I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
