It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
