We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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