My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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