Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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