You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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