Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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