I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
When are your genitals available?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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