My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I need moral support for this bender
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
