I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
