Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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