I am puke
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
