been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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