Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
