I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
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i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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