it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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