I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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