dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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