Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Randomize
