idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
