census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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