since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
