I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
