so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize