Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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