I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He told me they were just razor bumps!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Randomize
