Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Randomize