I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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