There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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