Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I lost the right to judge tonight
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
