My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
it was like eating out sand paper
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize