I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
