As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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