..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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