On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize