i permit you to call me
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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