I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
