plz talk dirty to me
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
