READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize