He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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