drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
