8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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