Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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