I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
