the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
