Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
