Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
