pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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