So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
