I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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