Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
