Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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